„Inconclusive“ ist ein dokumentarisches Projekt über die ursprüngliche, unauslöschliche Bindung zwischen Mutter und Kind – und ihren Bruch durch Zwang und Macht. Nach dem Spanischen Bürgerkrieg begann eine systematische Repression gegen republikanische Frauen, gestützt auf die Theorie des „roten Gens“ des Psychiaters Vallejo-Nágera. Was zunächst als ideologische Rechtfertigung erschien, verwandelte sich bald in ein Geschäft: Kinder wurden gegen Geld oder Gefälligkeiten weitergegeben – oder weil ihre Mütter nicht in die ethischen und moralischen Maßstäbe des damaligen Nationalkatholizismus passten. So entstand ein Netzwerk erzwungener Adoptionen, das während der Franco-Diktatur und sogar in der Demokratie bis in die 1990er Jahre fortbestand.

Schätzungen zufolge wurden bis zu 300.000 Kinder ihren Familien entrissen – viele unmittelbar nach der Geburt, oft unter der Lüge, sie seien tot, oder durch die Ausnutzung der Not und Unwissenheit ihrer Mütter.

Das Projekt der Fotografin entspringt einer persönlichen Auseinandersetzung mit ihrer Familiengeschichte. Es ist eine visuelle Spurensuche nach Identität und Erinnerung. Dafür verbindet sie Aufnahmen von Orten, an denen diese Geschehnisse stattfanden – Wohnungen, Pensionen, Krankenhäuser – mit Porträts betroffener Menschen, historischen Archiven und erklärenden Texten. Auf diese Weise entsteht ein Werk aus mehreren Schichten, die miteinander in Dialog treten.

Die Geschichte versucht, das Verlorene zu rekonstruieren, bevor es endgültig verschwindet. Sie will das Schweigen der Vergangenheit brechen und eine verschwundene Wahrheit sichtbar machen.

„Inconclusive“ ist ein dokumentarisches Projekt über die ursprüngliche, unauslöschliche Bindung zwischen Mutter und Kind – und ihren Bruch durch Zwang und Macht. Nach dem Spanischen Bürgerkrieg begann eine systematische Repression gegen republikanische Frauen, gestützt auf die Theorie des „roten Gens“ des Psychiaters Vallejo-Nágera. Was zunächst als ideologische Rechtfertigung erschien, verwandelte sich bald in ein Geschäft: Kinder wurden gegen Geld oder Gefälligkeiten weitergegeben – oder weil ihre Mütter nicht in die ethischen und moralischen Maßstäbe des damaligen Nationalkatholizismus passten. So entstand ein Netzwerk erzwungener Adoptionen, das während der Franco-Diktatur und sogar in der Demokratie bis in die 1990er Jahre fortbestand.

Schätzungen zufolge wurden bis zu 300.000 Kinder ihren Familien entrissen – viele unmittelbar nach der Geburt, oft unter der Lüge, sie seien tot, oder durch die Ausnutzung der Not und Unwissenheit ihrer Mütter.

Das Projekt der Fotografin entspringt einer persönlichen Auseinandersetzung mit ihrer Familiengeschichte. Es ist eine visuelle Spurensuche nach Identität und Erinnerung. Dafür verbindet sie Aufnahmen von Orten, an denen diese Geschehnisse stattfanden – Wohnungen, Pensionen, Krankenhäuser – mit Porträts betroffener Menschen, historischen Archiven und erklärenden Texten. Auf diese Weise entsteht ein Werk aus mehreren Schichten, die miteinander in Dialog treten.

Die Geschichte versucht, das Verlorene zu rekonstruieren, bevor es endgültig verschwindet. Sie will das Schweigen der Vergangenheit brechen und eine verschwundene Wahrheit sichtbar machen.

Four sisters, four different places and the same goal,to live a life in the service of the Lord.

Four of my father’s seven sisters decided at a very early age, when they were about thirteen years old, to go to aconvent of the Servants of Mary to begin their preparation as religious.

All of them were born in a small village in the Basque Country, northern Spain. However, they now live in four different places: Rome, Paris, Madrid and London. They did not decide to live there, but the Mother Superiors decided for them. Some of them were even sent there without being asked, as soon as they finished their studies and took their vows (poverty, obedience and chastity). For most of their lives they were only allowed to visit their family once every fouryears. Now this has changed and they are allowed to visit once every two years.

The Servants of Mary, ministers to the sick, is a congregation founded in 1851 by Soledad Torres Acosta in Madrid. The Servants, in addition to dedicating themselves to prayer, have studied nursing and are dedicated to caring for the sick,especially during the night.

In 2011, the congregation had over 1,628 sisters and 114 houses. Today, the number of vocations is decreasing, so thecommunity is now undergoing a restructuring process.

Three of my aunts no longer practice their profession, because they are too old for it. However, they still do all kinds ofwork at the convent, such as sewing, washing, cleaning, laundry work, etc.

The convents of the Servants of Mary are divided into two parts. On the one hand, there are the chapel and the visitingrooms, which are used for family and friends to be received. On the other, there are the rest of the rooms, which arecloistered and normally no one from outside the community is allowed to enter.

Since they were very young, my aunts knew they wanted to become nuns, because they felt the vocation and decidedto wear the habit. This is composed of a veil, which covers their heads, not showing any hair, a kind of poncho, with aturtleneck shirt and a long skirt. This clothing comes in two colors, white and black. They wear black in winter and whitein summer, although each one has their preferences and there are times when these rules are not met.

Another facet that changed for my aunts when they became nuns is that they changed their baptismal names, givingthem a new identity. Even so, they have never felt very attached to their new name, so two of them decided to go backto the name their parents had given them.

My aunt Rufina or Sister Engracia, as she is known in the convent, is the oldest of the nuns and the second oldest of allthe sisters. She has been living in Rome for more than 70 years, and knows that because of her delicate health she willnever return to her homeland, to the house where she was born. In spite of her advanced age, she has a fresh mind,and makes herself loved and respected in the convent. Since she lives in the same house as Mother General, she hasalways taken care of her sisters in the distance, making sure that they were always well cared for.

Aunt Balbina, or Sister Piedad, has lived most of her life in Paris. Despite having undergone chemotherapytreatments, she has worked for a long time caring for the sick and oragnizing the bureaucracy of all the nuns in Frenchconvents. She has a special sensitivity, she is very emotional and feels very intensely.

Aunt Josefa, who was initially given the name of Sister Dulcenombre, changed it as soon as she had theopportunity, becoming Sister Josefa again. She has lived most of her life in Madrid, in the founding house of thecongregation. She is very nervous, extremely hard-working and dedicated. In spite of having problems with hervertebrae, she continues to work hard in the convent, doing sewing, washing dishes, etc.

Finally, my aunt Carmen or Sister Carmen is the youngest of my nunaunts. She has been living in London for about twelve years and isthe only one of her sisters who is still actively caring for the sick. Shehas always enjoyed studying and has more than one degree, althoughshe has not always been allowed to study as much as she would haveliked. She is a woman with fixed ideas, who knows what she wantsand tries to achieve it by any means at her disposal. 

Four sisters, four different places and the same goal,to live a life in the service of the Lord.

Four of my father’s seven sisters decided at a very early age, when they were about thirteen years old, to go to aconvent of the Servants of Mary to begin their preparation as religious.

All of them were born in a small village in the Basque Country, northern Spain. However, they now live in four different places: Rome, Paris, Madrid and London. They did not decide to live there, but the Mother Superiors decided for them. Some of them were even sent there without being asked, as soon as they finished their studies and took their vows (poverty, obedience and chastity). For most of their lives they were only allowed to visit their family once every fouryears. Now this has changed and they are allowed to visit once every two years.

The Servants of Mary, ministers to the sick, is a congregation founded in 1851 by Soledad Torres Acosta in Madrid. The Servants, in addition to dedicating themselves to prayer, have studied nursing and are dedicated to caring for the sick,especially during the night.

In 2011, the congregation had over 1,628 sisters and 114 houses. Today, the number of vocations is decreasing, so thecommunity is now undergoing a restructuring process.

Three of my aunts no longer practice their profession, because they are too old for it. However, they still do all kinds ofwork at the convent, such as sewing, washing, cleaning, laundry work, etc.

The convents of the Servants of Mary are divided into two parts. On the one hand, there are the chapel and the visitingrooms, which are used for family and friends to be received. On the other, there are the rest of the rooms, which arecloistered and normally no one from outside the community is allowed to enter.

Since they were very young, my aunts knew they wanted to become nuns, because they felt the vocation and decidedto wear the habit. This is composed of a veil, which covers their heads, not showing any hair, a kind of poncho, with aturtleneck shirt and a long skirt. This clothing comes in two colors, white and black. They wear black in winter and whitein summer, although each one has their preferences and there are times when these rules are not met.

Another facet that changed for my aunts when they became nuns is that they changed their baptismal names, givingthem a new identity. Even so, they have never felt very attached to their new name, so two of them decided to go backto the name their parents had given them.

My aunt Rufina or Sister Engracia, as she is known in the convent, is the oldest of the nuns and the second oldest of allthe sisters. She has been living in Rome for more than 70 years, and knows that because of her delicate health she willnever return to her homeland, to the house where she was born. In spite of her advanced age, she has a fresh mind,and makes herself loved and respected in the convent. Since she lives in the same house as Mother General, she hasalways taken care of her sisters in the distance, making sure that they were always well cared for.

Aunt Balbina, or Sister Piedad, has lived most of her life in Paris. Despite having undergone chemotherapytreatments, she has worked for a long time caring for the sick and oragnizing the bureaucracy of all the nuns in Frenchconvents. She has a special sensitivity, she is very emotional and feels very intensely.

Aunt Josefa, who was initially given the name of Sister Dulcenombre, changed it as soon as she had theopportunity, becoming Sister Josefa again. She has lived most of her life in Madrid, in the founding house of thecongregation. She is very nervous, extremely hard-working and dedicated. In spite of having problems with hervertebrae, she continues to work hard in the convent, doing sewing, washing dishes, etc.

Finally, my aunt Carmen or Sister Carmen is the youngest of my nunaunts. She has been living in London for about twelve years and isthe only one of her sisters who is still actively caring for the sick. Shehas always enjoyed studying and has more than one degree, althoughshe has not always been allowed to study as much as she would haveliked. She is a woman with fixed ideas, who knows what she wantsand tries to achieve it by any means at her disposal. 

With a blanket Julius denies himself for the first time. He is lying in a bed next to him a nakedman. Around fifty students dance in his two-room apartment that evening in summer 2016. It is the farewell party of Julius as he will move to another city for his six month internship. Some guests are knocking at the bedroom door to pick up their jackets. Julius throws theblankets over the man at his side. He does not want anybody to know he is gay and just hadsex for the first time with a man. Today Julius is 23 years old.

His parents would never accept hat their only son likes men. Julius lives in between twoworlds: In the city where he is studying he lives his new reality, back in his small home townhe plays a different role.

For my father, I am a disappointment «says Julius.“First it turned out that I am not made forforest work, which my father loves so much. Then I started studying humanities instead of Computer science, like my father did. For him I’m not a real man.” Although homosexualityis widely accepted in western Europe today, there are still many associated issues especiallyin smaller towns. New technologies enables Generation Z to think out of the box, becomingmuch more aware of its own identity and realize that there is more than they experience intheir day to day life.

The protagonist of my story did not have is coming out yet. For this reason he prefers toremain anonymous. In my selection of photos I use the colors of the LGTB flag in different paintings and art techniques to hide his identity.